Basically, most coaching practices are what we call client centred. That means the client is the leader, the coach is the guide. If you have a goal in mind and you want to compete in the Miss Universe contest or the Mr. Universe contest and this is your goal and you’re willing to work six, seven hours a day in the gym and you’re really gung ho and you’re going to be religious about what you put into your body and never make a mistake, that’s one type of situation, but most people don’t aspire to be Mr. Universe or Miss Universe. Really what we want is to have good health in our lives. We want to be healthy and it’s a really interesting thing. I’ve had 10 kids. I’m a father of five boys and five girls.
Kids get sick but the body becomes more resilient as they grow older
And the amazing thing is kids get sick. They’re brought into this planet into this really kind of strange, weird environment with these bacteria and viruses and pathogens and we try to keep them clean. We don’t want them to get sick, we want them to be healthy. Now there is a theory called the hygiene theory where when you are so meticulous about scrubbing everything down and not letting the child touch anything that might be dirty, they wind up with very severe allergies. Now, why is that happening? That’s because they’re not imbibing those bacteria, those viruses, and those pathogens and their body is not learning to build up immunity. It’s a cycle. It’s a process. We’re put into an environment. Our bodies are able to adapt to the environment. So that being said, kids are sick quite often, that happens.
As they grow older, the body becomes more resilient. And I can say, without a doubt at age 67, I’m healthier today than I’ve ever been in my entire life. How did I get here? Did I get here like snapping my fingers and overnight it’s just a miracle how healthy I am? No. It took a lot of hard work, a lot of dedication, a lot of figuring stuff out, what to eat, what not to eat, how to behave, how to treat my own mind, how to use my mind as a tool for good instead of using my mind to tear me down and do all this self-judgment and sabotage, right? Those are the things that we get into. We think that we’re a mess and we can’t do this and we can’t do that and we convince ourselves of that and it becomes true because we keep repeating it to ourselves over and over again.
What does a coach do?
Henry Ford said, “If you think you can, you’re right. You can. If you think you can’t, you’re also right. You can’t.” And it’s that way with coaching as well. So basically what a coach is going to do is give you some guidelines, some barriers about what not to do. And instead of doing those things, maybe you do something else. And the habits that you have that you’ve grown up with that were instilled in you by your parents and your family life and your social structure and the way you were raised, those things are still with you, whether you like it or not, they are with you. They’re part of who you are.
As an adult or even a teen, you can make decisions
As an adult, as a teen even, you can make decisions and say, “No. I’m not going to be that way. I’m going to reject that way of living and I’m going to find some other way of doing it.” So for example, I was speaking with a client who has a Dunkin Donuts habit. They cannot start the day without, on their drive to work, stopping, getting that Dunkin Donuts coffee and picking up a six-pack of doughnuts.
The good news is they got plain doughnuts without the sugary glazed icing on them, but they’re still doughnuts. So instead of saying, “Well, let’s cut out doughnuts.” How well is that going to work? It’s more of a thing of, “All right. So you buy six doughnuts. What are you going to do with them? Why don’t you give four of them away, keep two, eat a half a doughnut for breakfast, save something for after lunch, like that.”
And then you sort of work your way into a better frame of mind, a better way of thinking. And eventually, we’ll get to Trader Joe’s or Whole Foods and we’ll find some very delicious, nutritious snacks that can take the place of those doughnuts. That’s not the first day, but it could be if you wanted it to. So there are different ways of handling it and what your conviction is and how much pain you’re in.
What are the two motivating factors in life?
There’s pain and there’s pleasure, right? A lot of times it’s the pain that motivates us the most because we just can’t take it anymore. We’ve got to make the changes that we want in order to enjoy the benefits of living a healthy life.
And that goes for all dimensions of life. We’re talking about the mental, physical, spiritual, emotional, all of it plays a role in who we are, who we become, who we want to be, and what we can achieve in our life on earth. Remember to be grateful for all the good things that happen to you in your life, all the good relationships you have, all the good people around you, and thank God for all the good.
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